Anyone out there?

So here I am – April 2010 – haven’t blogged since September 2009 and I am seriously wondering if I should try again! There is a certain young man who keeps me super busy so I am not altogether sure when I could fit in blog posts but it was something I enjoyed doing before so why not again? But then I ask myself who would read what I am writing…especially since I have been AWOL for 7 months! (wow, is that really how long it has been?!) So, before I embark on posting more blogs, I was wondering, is there anyone out there??

Learning!

Tomorrow marks Samuel turning 2 months old. I can hardly believe it! The past 8 weeks have been a steep learning curve both for me and for him. Every so often I have to stop and remember that he hasn't done this before either and he is still learning! He really is a great little baby and we have been so blessed by having him here. He is rewarding us with lots of smiles and pleasure talking which is particularly cute in the middle of the night if I am up with him! So far though we haven't captured one of his little smiles on camera!

This past few weeks we had my mum staying with us. She has now returned home and we miss her already. She was an enormous help to us as we adjusted to having a new baby. She enjoyed meeting her little grandson and helping out in so many ways. We are looking forward to heading home soon to introduce Sam to the rest of our families. I know there are lots of auntie cuddles planned by both Jude and Hannah!



I am enjoying spending my days with Samuel but also the new friendships that having him has brought. Our antenatal group have stayed in touch and we intend on meeting up a couple of times a month.











The highlight for us this month was our appearnce on national TV here in New Zealand on a slot about babies sleeping! It was great fun and will be something to tell Samuel when he is older!


It was Father's Day in New Zealand last Sunday so Samuel bought his Daddy a present! The general consensus is that Sam looks really like Ben, however, I am sure I can see a bit of me appearing as he gets a little older! The blue eyes are at least mine!

A few more recent pics can be seen here

More news of our wee man!

For pictures of Sam's second week of life click here

Things are going fairly well as we settle into our lives as a little family. Early days still but Sam is pretty settled during the day - though he struggles with the evenings and nights. I am reassured over and over by other parents that these unsettled difficult times do get better and once again some normality in life will be restored!

That said, we are really enjoying every moment with Sam. Ben has been off work and has been such a great help around the house, with meals, and as Daddy to his little son! Thank you Ben!

Samuel James Carswell

I am sure that many of you have heard our news but just in case I thought I would pop on here and do a quick blog! Samuel (Sam) arrived in this world on Monday 20th July 2009 at 11.28am after 13 hours of labour followed by an emergency C-section. I was in shock for the first day or so that he was a boy! I was 99% sure we were having a girl!! Sam is the first grandson for my parents after Jude's two lovely girls -quite a novelty for them all to be out looking at blue clothes! He is the 6th grandson for Ben's parents. Ben's brother in law thinks the family are well on their way to producing a whole Rugby 7's team - and with Sam weighing in at 8lbs 6oz, I reckon he could be right!

We finally came out of hospital on Saturday and are gradually getting used to our new lives as parents! My overwhelming thought as I went to bed last night was "How can such a little person make such a massive impact on our lives?!" I absolutely adore him and want to share some links to pictures of him on here - please have a look at our gorgeous boy!!

Samuel James Carswell pictures here
Sam's 2nd day pictures here
Sam day 3 & 4 pictures here
Sam Carswell Heads home pictures here

Family news

Only 4 days left of work. Quite hard to believe really. Finishing on Thursday should (in theory!) give me 4 weeks off to get organised and rested before motherhood begins. So many people tell me of stories where they know someone who went into labour early the day after they finished work (or something equally as scary!) so I am hoping and praying that baby Carswell will remain in comfort and the warmth for another month! You can see my "bump" progress here

We have started our antenatal classes and so far are enjoying them (well, mostly!)...it is when the theory needs to be put into practice that we will see how much we have really learnt! Joining us in our class our Catherine and Richard - a lovely couple who also belong to our church. We look forward to going through this transition to parenthood along with them!

Last week we heard of a new arrival into our wider family. The birth of Bo means we now have 5 nephews and 2 nieces. Ben's sister gave birth in Argentina to Bo . Seth seems well and truly taken with his little brother and we look forward to meeting the new arrival at some stage. Ben's parents are now the proud grandparents of 5 grandsons whilst my parents are all about the girls! So whatever we have should prove a real novelty to one side of the family anyway - though whether boy or girl, I know that our baby will be exciting for both sides!


I was pleased to hear this morning that Lauren got a glowing P1 school report! Jude and Roy should be so proud of her! We continue to love to speak to them on the phone or skype and Amy keeps us very amused with her various stories and comments! We also love to speak to Harry, Noah and Theo (Ben's younger sisters' children) but Harry was recently struck with stage fright and went silent on the webcam!

This picture is of Lauren pre-P1 sporting her school tie! She has grown up so much in this past year! And this is one of Amy sporting her mischievous look!










It is just over a year since Papa passed away - I cannot believe it has gone by so fast. Nana seems to be doing well, despite really missing him, and she is an inspiration on how to maintain faith and stay strong despite difficult circumstances. One of the many things she has taught me over the years is to be thankful daily for the many blessings God has given us, even when times are hard.







One special mention for Dad - as it is Fathers Day in the UK, and not in NZ, unfortunately with baby brain well and truly established, I forgot to be more organised! So here is a special "Happy Fathers Day" message for my Dad who I really love and appreciate for all that he does for me and for us.


One of the things I have missed about being in NI is singing with Grosvenor. I still love to listen to recordings that we did during my time with them and also to keep up to date on their news. I was really pleased to hear that Luke, Nigel and Ailsa Pollock's eldest son, had joined his school Chorale. I went along with Ailsa to hear them recently at a choral festival and was blown away by their performance of this piece. It is a mixture of a Haka (Maori traditional dance) and a waiata (Maori folk song). See post below to watch the video!

Kuarongo - Wellington College Chorale

One of the things I have missed about being in NI is singing with Grosvenor. I still love to listen to recordings that we did during my time with them and also to keep up to date on their news. I was really pleased to hear that Luke, Nigel and Ailsa Pollock's eldest son, had joined his school Chorale. I went along with Ailsa to hear them recently at a choral festival and was blown away by their performance of this piece. It is a mixture of a Haka (Maori traditional dance) and a waiata (Maori folk song).

Babymoon

Babymoon - "a vacation taken by a couple that is expecting a baby in order to allow the couple to enjoy a final trip together before the many sleepless nights that usually accompany a newborn baby" (definition from Wikipedia!!)

We had a Babymoon last weekend in New Plymouth. Check out more of our pictures here ! We had a great time relaxing and seeing some of the sights that the Taranaki region had to offer including a trip up (but not the whole way up!) Mt Egmont (an active volcano!). This is where we got up close and personal with snow in New Zealand - and like this time last year, as winter was setting in, I became confused about what time of year it is and half expected Christmas to be around the corner! We also enjoyed a bit of pottering around the shops, a walk a little way along the coast to see the wind wand, and some lovely meals out! All in all a great time was had! And it is with thanks to mum and dad who had given us some money at Christmas to spend on a trip away.

One advantage of living overseas is the enjoyment at receiving parcels! I have had such joy opening boxes sent by Mum and Jude over recent weeks - baby things of course- but it has been great getting little treats from familiar shops - so thank you to both Mum and Jude for these!

I have been so bad blogging recently - I just seem to have very little inspiration! But I do often think that I must get back into the habit of updating you on our news albeit somewhat hum drum at times!

I am now back to saying that I have 7 weeks left of work (or just under) before taking a few weeks to make final preparations for our baby's arrival.

Winter is well and truly on it's way and we have our fire lit most evenings. Nice and cosy but not so much in the mornings when there is no heat...hard to put your toe out of the bed!

Meet our bump

I thought I should share a picture or two of how Baby Carswell is developing! The scan is of 20 weeks and the photo is me this week (24 weeks). I am enjoying getting bigger (probably the only time I will feel comfortable saying that!!) and enjoy feeling the regular kicks and flutters from within! I really miss family and friends at this exciting time but have some great surrogate mums and sisters here in NZ who are excited for us and who love to share in all things baby! Mum has booked her flights to visit in August and I am really looking forward to having her here to help me become a mum! I would appreciate your prayers as we start the countdown towards meeting Baby Carswell (who we have chosen to not find out if they are a boy or a girl!) - that we would be good parents, like our own have been to us, and that our baby will make a safe arrival into this world!

Happy St. Patricks Day

Why is is that St Patricks Day is celebrated more outside of Ireland than in it?! Perhaps it is to do with the fact that places like New Zealand, Australia and the USA have so much Irish heritage.

Tomorrow in work we are having a special St Patricks Morning Tea charity fundraiser. We have to wear something green for the occasion (I will wear Ben's Ireland Rugby shirt so I think I will win hands down if there is a contest!)

I am not sure how much people actually know about Patrick but I remember hearing his story every year at school. What stands out in my mind the most is that he brought Christianity to Ireland, long before we had Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland, and used the Shamrock to explain the Trinity. Legend has it that he also drove snakes out of Ireland, but I am not sure how true that bit is!

Tomorrow is not only St Patricks Day but it is also Ben's birthday. The day when he catches up with me!

And here we are in NZ, and although we are certainly not the first to bring the news of Christ to these Islands, we continue to try and spread the good news to the students and people we meet.

I leave you with the words of the prayer of St Patrick which reminds me of how central Christ should be to the message we share.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.

Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, and in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger

One of the advantages of living in a different time zone...

...is that you can prolong turning a year older by a whole 13 hours (because technically I should celebrate my birthday on UK time as that is where I was born). I attempted to do this today...however, the excitement of lots of parcels to open was too much and so I gave in to turning 31 ahead of time.

We have said goodbye to Sarah who had a great couple of weeks seeing a bit of New Zealand. It was great to have her here and I was sad to see her go as she is the last of my visitors from NI for 4 or 5 months..after which Mum hopes to come over again to play Nana for our little arrival.

Here is a picture of Gordon (who Sarah and I both know from Bangor and schook days and who is now living in Wellington), Sarah and Brony at a great Teppanyaki restaurant near our house.

We have begun the task of looking at baby equipment and I must say, I never knew how confusing the world of "baby stuff" can be! There are so many choices of cots, prams and car seats. It is at times like this where I wish I had mum and Jude here to come out shopping with me to help me choose...and that is before we have even started to think of baby names, clothes and other essential items! As I think about our developing baby I am struck time and again by the words of Psalm 139:

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

¹⁶ your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be

It is amazing and comforting to know that God has a plan and a will for our little one, whatever that might be, even before he/she was being formed, now and in the future. How awesome to trust in that promise for ourselves and for our children!

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Visitors

This past few weeks have seen our 1 year anniversary of our arrival in New Zealand. We touched down on Kiwi soil on January 27th 2008. The year has really flown by!

In our time here we have enjoyed the company of many visitors and most recently we were pleased to welcome Sarah along with her friend Brony. They are in the South Island as we speak, but we spent a great weekend with them in Rotorua where we took in some amazing geothermal sites as well as indulged in some real Maori culture! It was brilliant to welcome such a great and special friend to our home and to Aotearoa!





NZ is gripped by the news from over the Tasman with the bush fires still raging through Victoria in Australia. It is truly shocking to see and hear about the tragic deaths seemingly at the hands of arsonists. The fires are not helped by the extreme hot weather -some of which has made it's way to NZ where some areas are in the mid 30's at times. Wellington tends to be a bit cooler (and windier) so we have some relief at least!

This year we expect to greet another very special visitor in the form of a mini-Carswell. All being well, this little visitor will be arriving mid-July. Lots of planning and preparation required for this particular one!

Is it dinner time?

Oops. Sorry. Haven't blogged in a good while. Our Christmas break was just so full of catching up and chilling out that blogging fell well and truly of the list of things to do! We are now back safely to NZ and woke up this morning at 4am. Jet lag is bizarre and more bizarre because you want strange foods at strange times. So right now it is nearly 6am and I feel like eating dinner - I suppose that makes sense because in the UK that is what most of you will be preparing right now. The flights back went smoothly and weren't nearly as bad as I had anticipated. Our house in NZ is still standing - though we are wondering about some possible earthquake damage along our garden wall which is made up of large stones...suppose we will never know!

Our time at home was just great. It felt so good to be back with people, places and things that just felt familiar. The goodbyes were not as bad as last year because I knew where I was coming to and what was waiting here for me. Having said that, it is never easy leaving behind the people you love.

On a more positive note, it is the summer here! Apparently. We have woken up to heavy rain, but it feels warm at least. Think Ben is going to pop to the supermarket soon to buy something nice for dinner...I mean breakfast!

Home Sweet Home

We made it! Though at one point on the long Hong Kong flight to London I thought I would lose the will to live. The hours seemed to go by very very slowly! But we touched down eventually and then made our way to Belfast last night. It feels so good to be back home. The home comforts and familiar sights and smells. It even feels like Christmas now...a cold dark morning and the twinkling of the tree in the hall. Of course our body clocks are all over the place and so we woke at 5 this morning, starving and ready for the day! I am sure tiredness will hit me again soon but before then we have a great family day ahead with everyone coming to mum's for dinner. I can't wait to see Jude, Roy and the girls and Nana. There are so many people I want to see over the next few weeks but I fear time will be too short to squeeze them all in, but I will try.

I hope to post again in the next few days with news of our time in Hong Kong. Til then, enjoy the run up to Christmas and being with family and friends!

It's been a while...

In fact, it has been 3 weeks since my last post. Very slack of me who aimed to update at least fortnightly! I am sure nobody has been hanging out for my next post but just in case, I am sorry it has taken me so long!

We have had such a busy couple of months but they have been just great - so perhaps I have just been resting with some chill out time since mum and dad left us. Two weeks today we leave New Zealand for our long journey home for Christmas! I cannot believe that we have been here for nearly a year. This time last year I was blogging about only having weeks left at home and my mixed emotions about leaving to come to NZ - it was all so unknown to me. I had no idea what to expect and looking back now I can hardly believe that I got through all the goodbyes and actually made it here! But that is thanks only to God who has been here throughout in both good and bad times.

I am excited about coming home to see family and friends and catching up with all that has been going on. I am also nervous about how I will feel when it comes time to leave again, but at least this time I know that here in NZ awaits new friends, beautiful scenery, a home, a job, and students who really need to hear about Christ - which is what we were called here for in the first place! And these things should hopefully ease the pain of saying goodbye again...

It has been hard to feel seasonal here in NZ. When did you last watch Santa arrive in town dressed in your summer gear?! The weather is really getting lovely and warm and when we get back in late January, summer will be well and truly here. I am looking forward to a cold Christmas though - isn't that the way it is supposed to be?! Maybe we will even have a white one.

Here a few more photos of our time with mum and dad. Count yourselves lucky to only see a few. Dad had over 2500 by the time they left! You can see more of ours by clicking here and here !

P.S. I was gutted to see that my blog viewers world map had reset itself..though it looks like the red dots are starting to spread again!

Congratulations!

Just a brief post to give a huge CONGRATULATIONS to Grosvenor Chorale (the superb choir I sang in before coming to NZ) as they have got through to the Grand Final of BBC 3 Choir of the Year! They have done so well and I am proud to be able to say that I was part of them for so many years. I am just gutted that I wasn't part of this particular event! I wish them and Edward Craig (their wonderful Musical Director) all the very best for the final in December - keep up the hard work - it is well worth it! You can keep up with their news here

South Island travels

What a great week away we had with mum and dad! We saw and experienced so many things - there is just no way I can detail them all on here or show you the hundreds of photographs we took in the process! But I will share some of the highlights! (click on pictures for enlargements)

Our road trip took us down the east coast of the South Island right to the very tip and then back up along the west coast where we left mum and dad so that we could return to work. They are still at the top of the South Island and will be back with us on Thursday night.

We saw snow topped mountains, aquamarine rivers, bungy jumpers, waterfalls, sheep, cows, deer, seals, and little blue penguins. We went walking in the west coast rain forests, travelled up long and winding mountain roads, shopping in cities, and gold panning in streams. We ate far too much great food and enjoyed wine tasting both at vineyards and during our meals! At every turn there was something breathtaking to see and we all agreed that New Zealand is indeed a very beautiful and stunning country. The weather was mostly kind to us and I think that we had a bit of everything from glorious warm and sunny days to snow falls!

For me, the places I particularly enjoyed were Dunedin, Oamaru (home of the little blue penguins) and Milford Sound. But what I really enjoyed most was just getting to spend so much time with my parents and Ben as we shared stories and laughs along the way!

Mum and Dad arrive back to ours on Thursday and will be in need of a rest and some downtime before they head off again - this time up North towards Taupo and Rotorua. We will then head up to meet them next Friday for a final weekend together in Hawke's Bay. I also have a great friend, Judith, from work in NI, coming over with her friends mid-November so it will be great to catch up with her too! With all these visitors and road-trips it's a wonder I have time to do anything else! But I love it! And it helps me feel that although at times I feel so far from home, family and friends, I have not been forgotten!

Rain Rain...

...Go away! I knew I was a bit premature! The weather has taken a turn for the worse and is a bit wet and windy again! And just in time for mum and dad's arrival on Wednesday! I hope that even if the weather isn't great that they will receive a warm welcome anyway! We head away on Friday morning to the South Island for a over a week of travelling so I hope there will be some sunny days there. Will blog on our return to let you know!

The sun has got his hat on...

Hip Hip Hip Hooray! We are so pleased to see and feel the sun! I don't want to be premature in saying that it feels like summer is at last here because I am told that it will be fairly changeable over the coming weeks before summer really does reach us, but boy does it feel good to not have to put a warm coat on just to get to work or rush home and put on extra layers to keep warm! We spent a lovely weekend soaking up the great weather - as did most people in Wellington it would seem! On Saturday we headed to Oriental Parade and enjoyed watching the world go by - people on the beach, kids playing, and even a brave few taking a dip in the sea! We got our exercise by hiring a sort of bicycle cart thing (I am sure there is an actual name for this but I have no idea what it is!). Geraldine has been staying with us and so the three of us enjoyed a cycle along the pathway ringing our bell to warn others of our presence! It was great fun and well worth it!

On Sunday we enjoyed a trip to the Botanic Gardens in Wellington. So many beautiful tulips and poppies in all sorts of colours really helped lift our spirits! It was the end of the Spring Festival and so we were treated to entertainment from jazz bands as we wandered through.

In just over a week we will be welcoming Mum and Dad to the shores of New Zealand! I can hardly believe it. Sometimes it seems so long ago that we said our goodbyes at Belfast City airport and at other times I can remember the occasion like it was yesterday! Thankfully this time (as they arrive ) will be more joyful - though I still think there could be tears of a different kind! I just wish that with them they could bring Jude and the girls, but I will have to wait another couple of months before I can see and enjoy being with my whanau (Maori word for "extended family" - 'wh' pronunced as 'f')!

Motorhome Mayhem

Last weekend we went away in a motorhome. We were wise and only had 2 nights for our first experience! We really enjoyed it but I was glad to get back to the house and a bit more space! Ben was already in Auckland with work so I flew up to meet him on the Friday evening and then we set off to the Coromandel Peninsula. This was a part of New Zealand that we hadn't been to before and it certainly lived up to it's expectations - as one website describes it - "misty rainforests and pristine golden beaches, the Coromandel is blessed with hundreds of natural hideaways, making it an ideal place to slow down, relax and unwind". So I suppose our 2 night getaway was really a bit of a reccy and we have put the Coromandel on our list of places we should go back to!

It was a bit of a comedy of errors - from the electricity power cut in the town we stayed in, to the moment when we realised we weren't going to be able to drive ourselves out of the sand pit that we seemed to find ourselves in! We knew we weren't supposed to go onto the beach in our motorhome, and we didn't, but the area we parked at to look out at the beach seemed to have an inordinate amount of sand on it, and deeper than we realised! The more Ben tried to drive the more the sand kicked up behind the rear tyres and the deeper we sank.

The next 10 -15 mins felt really surreal. There wasn't another soul nearby, yet after a few mins of us huffing and puffing in an effort to get the motorhome moved, one by one cars arrived and before we knew it we had 5 helpful Kiwi's, who didn't stand around and discuss how to get us out (as I fear many Brits would have done), but simply got stuck in and helped dig and push us out and onto our merry way! I am just sorry I don't have any photographs of the event!

We enjoyed a ride on a train through the beautiful Kiwi forest (also known as the "bush"). It was a great experience to see lots of native flora, to smell the ferns, and to hear the birds singing. We particularly love to hear the Tui birds and are so pleased that there are plenty in our back garden. I've added a video I found on youtube so you can hear for yourselves!

This weekend we have the pleasure of having Geraldine to stay. Geraldine is from Duke Street Church in London where Ben attended for a few years. She is here as part of her sabbatical from her role as Senior Administrator at the church. She will be with us for a few weeks and we look forward to welcoming her and showing her around New Zealand.

Percy Pig in Singapore

This post is long overdue but I wanted to let you all know how we got on when we were in Singapore. We had a great week away and I was really pleased that I was able to join Ben. Ben has reflected on our time at the FES conference on his blog so I thought I would tell you more about our time after the conference. It was hot - that is for sure. Hot and humid. So humid that my glasses steamed up when I got out of the air conditioned taxi!

But we went prepared with our summer wardrobe which served us well...except my flip-flops, which really weren't comfortable for walking around in! Singapore struck me as a place of many sights, sounds and
smells and amongst the places I liked the most were
Little India, Chinatown and Arab Street.

I was amazed at the array of colours of the fabrics, rugs and pashminas that donned the narrow pavements and the smells of the herbs and spices in the containers that sat along the shopfronts. There were many different voices and accents that added to the whole buzz of the place. As you entered each of these "cultural" areas, it really felt that you had entered a different country.

I could have walked up and down the streets over and over again taking in all that was tempting my various senses! We visited Buddhist temples, Islamic mosques and Hindu temples and I felt overwhelmed by all that we saw.

On the other extreme, we wandered around the numerous malls on Orchard Road passing by amazing window displays by designers such as Louis Vuitton and Chanel, and of course there was Marks and Spencer! I have survived for 8 months (don't ask me how!) without the presence of M&S in my life, and merely seeing that great green sign in Singapore made me smile! Strangely enough I resisted and didn't buy anything! Not even a bag of Percy Pigs!! However, I did notice though that Percy Pig has had Piglets, and I look forward to sampling those when we are back at Christmas!

Mr Percy Pig. How could you not love him?!

So now we are on the countdown until mum and dad arrive. 4 weeks to go! The weather seems to be improving (no.1 sign is that we aren't rushing to light the fire in the evenings!) though I am told that this is the windy season - personally, I think it is always fairly windy (see one of my early posts of our first few weeks in Wellington)!

This weekend in Singapore is the night time Grand Prix and I know my dad will be excited to see that. They were getting the city ready for that when we were there with the powerful floodlights and grand stands visible along the streets! This weekend we are off to the Coromandel (North East of the North Island) in a motor home! I am really looking forward to that experience and will no doubt blog about it soon!

I have posted more pictures of our Singapore trip here

Those were the days

Happy 1st wedding anniversary Ben! Here is a shot of us back in the days when we were happy!!

Of course, we still really are!! We have had a great first year of marriage, albeit one with many changes!

Spring has Sprung

I have no idea where the past few weeks have gone but apologies for the severe blogging drought! I think since Julie left we haven't really done a whole lot - though Ben has been busy with work so check out his blog if you haven't already! Tomorrow sees us head to Singapore for a week to spend some time with the TSCF equivalent organistion, FES Singapore, for their 50th anniversary conference. It will be really great to be a part of this and to see what God is doing in another country amongst students, and also to share in Ben's work a little more. We also hope to see a bit of Singapore while we are there..and I am particularly excited at the prospect of going into Marks and Spencer for the first time in 8 months! How sad!

The 1st September marked the official start of Spring and it has certainly felt more Spring like of late with plenty of daffodils popping up and little lambs appearing in the fields. Not sure there are any lambs in this picture but here are just a few of New Zealand's 40 million sheep!

The 8th September marks the first day of school for my niece Lauren - I can hardly believe she will be heading to school - seems like no time since she was a baby. I am really sad to be missing such a momentous occasion but I look forward to hearing all about it when we get back from Singapore. This is one of my favourite pictures of her!

The 15th September marks our 1st wedding anniversary - I really am stunned when I think that it was a whole year ago we walked up the aisle (or down the aisle in this photo!) It seems like yesterday...that must be a good thing surely?!